Saturday, December 24, 2005
yez mama went for a cornea transplant..
the conea is taken from the chiller
so not fresh n not gd
so mayb 1-2 weeks l8r hav to go for another similar op
using a fresh cornea from other country
e doc will arrange for it to b shipped to here
when e fresh cornea is ready den will mama go for e 2nd surgery
mummy's auper duper upset abt it
cos e cornea might tear again cos e eye illness is due to her rheumatoid arthritis
so if her rheumatoid diease bcome worse, even after she had e cornea transplant,
e same thing will happen again
so mama kept saying she wants to die n commit suicide
ya noe.. lyk itz a waste of money n everything
dats it la..
but today okie le.. cos other pple in her ward are worse off dan her..
she's e onli 1 with renal prob
e rez r with rectum prob
some cant even eat n some cant get up n walk cos back pain..
so she seem rather ok le..
den suddenly say she wanna live for mi la..
ya noe.. lyk im so concern abt her so she mz live on..
yupz yupz...
n thanks wensi.. for being so concern abt my mama..
realli very very touched..
u noe how things r reali bad yez?
cos e doc explained abt e possibilities of e recurring eye illness dat mama may hav
n she's super depressed abt it
e worse of all is dat ive been consoling her until 2+ when i went for lunch
within those 10-15 mins dat im away, she jz grabbed a nurse n told her she wants to commit suicide n die..
i was so!!.. i dunno wad..
nothing i said seems to get into her head..
den e social worker came n talked to her n mi,
to tell us not to worry
n asked mi if i were oki n try to b patient with her n everything..
she meant dat im already being very patient with her,
bt i need to hav mental preparation dat things might get worse n i need to b even more patient with her
to listen to her n everything..
den i jz broke down..
i jz cried n explained to her sometimes itz realli my max,
esp during my exam periods..
i jz cant take it dat she can onli see short term effects
dat she's wasting money on treatment n on dis temp op
i was so frustrated when she jz cant think for e long term
dat if her concern was for money, i can always earn it back when i graduate n start working
if her concern was for her condition, i mean we've done wadeva we could
doc giv medicine, eat medicine
doc says come for appointment, go for appointment
doc says go for op, go for op
if even we've did all these n itz still no use, den FINE!
but she hasn't even go for e op n she's backing out le..
already think dat she's gg to fail even when she has done nothing..
n e worst is, ive been taking all dis alone..
papa will onli laugh it off cos he doeant noe wad to do too..
ya noe.. i mean if he's some expert in medicine den mayb he'll noe wad to do or wad doc will do
bt none of us noe.. i mean we dun hav dis kind of knowledge ma..
so hav to wait for nxt checkup n doc will explain clearer of her condition
whether her condition imroves or worsens
if it worsens, den wad should we expect..
itz lyk everything's uncertain n doc will onli say it all depends on 1self
cos everyone's condition's diff..
some may recover faster some may not
n worst is when doc told us derez no cure for rheumatoid arthritis
cos they havnt found e underlying reasons for dis illness
they can onli spot e symptoms n which area of e body will b affected e most
so right now can onli use medicine to control e illness from deteriorating
so i noe itz hard for her n itz hard for everyone..
im realli touched dat ur very concern abt mi n mama..
THANK YOU!
-end-
I love my world:D
2:34 PM
